After starting the third trimester of my pregnancy, I noticed something had changed for me. I was no longer worried about all of the what-ifs, I was no longer hyper-focused and over analyzing every little ache and pain, and I was able to actually accept that everything is ok. It took me a long time to get to this place of peace with this pregnancy – 29 weeks to be exact! But I’d be lying if I said I still wasn’t worried. The fear of losing another pregnancy will always linger in the back of my mind. However, for some reason, seeing the words “Welcome to Your Third Trimester” pop up on the BabyCenter app one morning made me breathe a sigh of relief.
I started thinking about all the milestones that we’ve been able to hit throughout this pregnancy so far, and that really helped me feel more hopeful in making it to the finish line. You’ll obviously pass over some pretty important physical and medical milestones, but the psychological impact that some of these moments had on me was so much more meaningful. It’s one thing to see your growing bump and watch your baby on an ultrasound, but the mental relief you feel once you are passing the week of your previous loss or making it to the 20-week/half-way mark is huge.
After talking with some friends who have gone through miscarriages of their own, and who are also experiencing similar emotions when going through their current pregnancies was really eye opening. In fact, it actually brought me some comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the only person feeling this way and that I wasn’t alone. If you’ve suffered a miscarriage you’ve probably had similar feelings of uncertainty when going through subsequent pregnancies. This new journey brings on a complicated range of emotions and getting to experience some important milestones can bring comfort and confidence in making it to your due date with a healthy and happy little one.
Pregnancy After Miscarriage: Milestones to Appreciate
Positive Home Test: In the months following my last miscarriage, I was terrified that I would never become pregnant again. It was exhausting and draining to wake up every month to a negative test result. But for me, that first positive test I saw brought on so many feelings of hope and excitement! While there is definitely some level of anxiety surrounding that positive result, the milestone of seeing your first positive test after a miscarriage can serve as your ticket back onto the wild ride that is your pregnancy journey!
Positive Blood Test: Being able to go into the doctor and actually get a blood draw to see if your hGC levels are rising can be a nerve-wracking process in the early stages of a new pregnancy. However, being able to see your hGC levels double over a few days and weeks can give you confidence in the fact that you’re on the path to a healthy and viable pregnancy.
Seeing the First Heartbeat on Ultrasound: I remember being so nervous for my 8 week appointment and praying to see a heartbeat on the ultrasound. Getting the chance to actually see a visible heartbeat is a huge milestone to cross when going through a pregnancy after miscarriage. It brings a level of reassurance that your pregnancy is progressing.
Hearing the First Heartbeat: It’s one thing to see it, and a whole different experience to actually hear it! Being able to hear your growing baby’s heartbeat for the first time is an overwhelming experience. Not only is it comforting to know that your baby is developing and healthy, but the emotional aspect of hearing a heartbeat after a miscarriage is so incredibly special.
Passing the 12th Week: Making it to the end of the 1st trimester was a huge milestone for us. Not only is it a marker for when the chances of miscarriage drop, but it made us feel like we were in the clear. It was like we had been holding our breath and could finally relax, which made for an exciting time to be able to start sharing our news with friends and family.
Passing the Week of Previous Loss: I was extremely anxious in the first few weeks of this pregnancy. I was over analyzing every symptom, ache, and pain. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop and it was exhausting. However, once we were able to move past the week of our previous loss, it was like a weight had been lifted off our chests. Mentally and emotionally, it was a huge milestone and confidence boost to be able to say we made it farther than we had before.
Feeling Baby Move: With Oliver’s pregnancy, I didn’t start feeling him move until I was around 20 or so weeks maybe even a little later. I was able to feel Emmie a lot sooner, probably around 17/18 weeks. With this pregnancy however, I started feeling her way earlier! I had been trying so hard to not get ahead of myself or too hopeful, but feeling her move for the first time brought me to tears! I was so overjoyed at the fact that I could feel this baby and took it as a sign of a healthy and strong pregnancy. It was a huge milestone in my own recovery and brought on a huge level of confidence.
20 Week Screening: The 20 Week Screening is an exciting milestone for all parents-to-be, and can be filled with mixed emotions for parents who had recently suffered a miscarriage. However, being able to see that your pregnancy and baby are developing normally is a great reassurance. Not to mention the excitement of being able to see you baby for an hour or so through and ultrasound! Thanks to COVID, this was the first time AJ was able to actually see the baby and hear her heartbeat, which made it so much more special for us given our previous loss.
Seeing Baby Move: This was a big one for not only me, but especially for AJ. Being able to see the baby actually move around and shake your belly is WILD! Once we started seeing her move around from the outside, we took it as a sign that she was getting bigger and stronger.
Moving Past the 2nd Trimester: As I said at the beginning of this post, moving into the third trimester was a huge milestone for me. It brought lots of feelings of hope and excitement. Being only 12 weeks away from delivery helped me feel more confident in making it to my due date with a healthy and happy baby.
As I move through the third trimester of this pregnancy, I am constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to be able to have this experience. Every day I get to spend helping this little girl grow is a blessing in and of itself. While delivery (the biggest milestone) is still a ways away, I am feeling more confident and excited every day!